The Chrysalis

 "Yesterday is but a memory,tomorrow an unchartered course...so live today 

so it will be a memory without remorse."

Yesterday I realised that I have been living in a cocoon and while it was safe and I believed it was my own personal space in my bubble, a bubble I imagined in my favourite shade of blue...I discovered that there was a reason for this. Sometimes some things slip our mind and hide in the far recesses of our feelings...hidden that is, until someone or something 'cracks the code.'

What you think is an accident can turn out to be a plan of life...or so I'm thinking. You would too in my shoes, when you meet the catalyst that pulls the chrysalis out of its cosy cocoon and croones in its ear to re-enter the world.

A world now far different from what was once familiar and yet, new, enticing, exotic, adventurous, fun and just that little bit crazy.

Yes today I discovered that place inside myself that sparks, rushes, runs, screams, jumps, leaps and flows. 

A place that is exciting, new, and tastes like a spoonful of strawberries and sour cream, mixed with chocoalate and mint that deliciously tingles on your tongue...making you squirm, moan and take an excited breath or...one too many. A place where...you feel safe yet, vulnerable. Scared yet, brave. Smiling and tired yet, full of a new life that gives you wings to fly.

Today I'm getting one step closer to the butterfly. Today I take baby steps. 

Then, a voice inside me says, " Is this good? Is this good?"

...and I realise I don't know.

I found a place where nothing is impossible...but is it real or was my cocoon safer. Sometimes we wish we could fly and then when we do...why, OH! WHY...do we worry and fret tryimg to think three steps ahead. As humans, are we to feel that happiness cannot be ours to steal. Do we deserve it. Are we who we are...or just that beautiful "Chrysalis" that is so strangely beautiful from afar.

As the night draws in and my thoughts grow small...into my cacoon I wish to crawl. Safe and sound from the world outside, touched  by no one by my side.

Tomorrow will I spread my wings...and become a butterfly with a million dreams.