You don't understand 
You're trapped, 
In the illusions of this world
Addictions, power and 
surmounting wealth
hold you in its grip

Can I see beyond the clouds 
to the divine heart of all things
feel the harp playing
a tune of melancholy, 
watch the children's laughter
in the shadows of the sun

We walk in mirror reflections
listening to the heartstrings
strummed in pain,
holding on to nothing
that is everything, to gain
in this world we create

He Says, "You mean, all I have to do is keep my heart open to you, even if all I can say is "I don't know what to say but I love you and I am going to stay here and try to respond...and we will turn into the lovers you find in storybooks?"

I give him a huge million dollar smile. "You got it sweetheart," I say, "just be there for me; that IS the story – the whole story of Us."

I sat down to write something but nothing seemed to come to mind. 

The words evaded the space in my mind, I like to think...is full to the brim with ideas galore and yet, today it seemed all the clouds I saw, the purple sky or the soft feel of a tender balmy breeze brushing my cheeks as I sat in my favourite place...had done nothing,
to topple that stack of over piled words on to my paper...

Oh! no, that's not entirely right, as I love to write on notepads, in books, journals (oh how I love to collect these) and even on scraps of crumpled papers I randomly pick up...but if the truth be told, (as it always should be and almost always isn't) I need words to fall on my screen, after I have punched them in, my fingers dancing on the keys of my laptop. 

The feel of typing has now come to be so familiar to me, I almost feel like I was born with a keypad in my hands...sounds silly???

I know and I agree totally! But, what is it that one must say that runs parallel to the saying, "You must have been born with a pen in your hand." That being said I am simply quantifying a metaphor of my own making. Can I be accused of murdering the queens language? Maybe! Then again maybe not, considering the many new and somewhat weird words people come up with days, not to mention all the flang-slang and techno jargon kids, high on hip gadgets use or the text lingo that recreated a new form of morsecode, now used in our chat box and the short cuts to face book posting that include a lot of three letter and four letter words that are not really words at all and luckily cannot be confused with love or f..k.

So, no I think I am safe on this side of the fence. 

Yet, all I need tonight is a few good lines. 

The air-conditioner is blowing freezing, yet pretty nice fresh air on me, I am shivering slightly in my 100% cotton t-shirt dress and the lights are down low, with soft music playing on my old stereo. 

Then I realise, that it is time to close my eyes...dream the dreams of yesterdays, thoughts of hope for tomorrows' and excited desires of my passions, wrought in my souls yearning plea.

This flipside will have to wait!

My soft white pillows are calling me...and there's really nothing quite as perfect, as your head sinking onto your cool soft pillow about to ride the stallions of the night, now is there.

                                                       
                                                       

I could walk a million miles 

in any direction

Yet, I still come to you...

I can watch 

the stars light the sky

But those in your eyes, 

still light my soul through

I can hold you all night long

and yet...it would feel 

like seconds past

For every time 

I am with you

my soul feels reborn 

You don't realise how lonely I feel..it's only some attention I need.

A quiet word, a touch that makes me feel you are here, truly here.
Yet, the more I earn for these things. the harder it is to receive them.

Do you want me to stop needing you and need someone else?

I wonder at times how you can, not want what I want...no mater how tired you are.
But then I know I am more a fairy spirit with love as my nectar and you the practical Peter Pan of the high life.

Fly with me, I say in earnest but in this place in my heart....I also know it will take a world wind for you to see me as I am, right now.

Lonely

Sometimes I sit and wonder about life. Like a leaf drifting on a cool crisp breeze, wind in my sails, I fly over tree tops basking in the sun of a new morn, then again there I am just managing to stay adrift in a hailstorm, that blurs my vision of moments spent and obscured my view of sunrises yet to see...taking me with it in a gust of wind so strong that my veins hold tight, in hope of not falling and yet, as fear grips me with the uncertainty on the flow...I know in this strange an unforeseen moment - I have to be right.

I could not have read the signs, anything but correctly.

These thoughts have crossed my mind and consumed me before and time and time again, I have been want for no reason. Why then must I tally with unspoken words, or wonder about unsure thoughts...why can't I be happy in the moment?

That I may be that leaf...will I float or will I fly...can I fall, must I try...is this real or make-believe? Did I dream it all up, in my sleep?

Can the sun shine along with the rain...are leaves meant to feel the love in a sweet sugar rain?

Feelings

I'm just wading through waterfalls
Chanting my song
Awaiting that kiss
When you come along

Wishing and wanting
The night to last on
You, holding me tight
Our bodies riding the storm

Sometimes I stay awake
my eyes ache to close
Yet, sleep evades the senses
dreams in dark and forgotten places
linger in the shadows

I call out to sheep
That long jumped over the fence
that white picket fence
I thought I'll own
outside the house I'd call home
with a lawn, a dog,
A handsome husband and
Little children all my own

But wait! It's mine...I own them all
except the sheep who jump
yet, never fall
when sleep draws near I fight it back
what I yearned for
a stark bright fact

Why must we long for things
when in reality what brings
we willing throw back
confused or guilty
Rarely satisfied, we want but received...are refused by a mile

Life is strange, emotions make no sense...our desire playing havoc
when we think the thoughts
want what's ours not
Long for things we think
we have not

Let me cuddle now
try to count them sheep
stop my fingers tapping out
thoughts that are between
waking and sleep
Hit the sack, get some dreamstakes
make my thoughts sour
To someone else's door
baring lights of a happy glow.

If I Told You

How would you feel 

if I told you I loved you

Would you wrap 

your arms around me 

...and whisper...'me too'

Would you love me tonight

taking your time 

Falling in love with me

will we make it through time

hand in hand 

lips locked in time,

Counting Stars

I watched the waves come to shore
Like snow blown on the breath of an angel
My children ran to and fro
Trying hard to catch the receding flotsam
My smile broadened in my heart
My mind sang a tune of love
His arms around me held me tight
As we watched the stars break through the night

Inspired by the movie - Hemingway & Gellhorn 

with Nicole Kidman and Clive Owen

....loved the movie.

Paths We Walk

Life has a strange way of taking us on rides we may better off be, never getting on. We hear the thunder and yet we stride the distance untold, searching for a footing, when we should heed the bolt of lightening. Why do we boldly march forward into a garden of wilderness, tangled weeds and uprooted flowers whence we can all but cover in the midst of a fairyland... instead we chose the garden we must water with unbridled passion, intoxicating senses filled with tremors ...only to cling to the wines of secrets. Is it the war inside us that seeks the river valley or is it the saint in us that looks towards a greener pastor forbidden. Can we not love the roses? Must we pull at the weeds. And yet the voice in my head says Yes! We must. Must discover the intricately woven stray strands blowing in the breeze in order to find the world within us. For only when we find that pattern do we find our muse. Only then do we...Live, Love, Surrender. It is at this point in time that we are Complete.

I didn't know I was starving

Didn't realise I had a thirst to quench

Till I tasted salt like honey

Like nectar to butterfly I leapt

Twinkling lights 
Purple skies
Smile on my face 
You on my mind

Written on a page 
Living in a dream
Words upon words 
What's in-between